Peace Forces Knowledge & Knowledge Forces Peace

For much of my life, I was hurt, and I didn’t even realize it. Others, who did not raise their voices against authority or challenge those pushing their boundaries, saw me as maybe rude, disrespectful, or loud. Yet, none could deny who I truly was as a person. I have always held myself to a standard higher than the “generic lifestyle.” I wanted to be the best at everything I did, and I wanted everyone and everything in the world to be the best they could be as well. This is where the majority of my passion lies: a passion for understanding, for more love, and for less suffering in the world.

I think this comes from my experiences growing up. I want to put an end to true disrespect, an end to suffering, an end to hate, and an end to pain. I think this stems from the fact that I was hurt at one point in my life, and now, as I’m old enough to reflect, I can truly understand how that hurt shaped the way I feel and the way I speak. My intentions are among the purest. I see the best in everyone and everything. I now know that I’ve always been good with boundaries, and I’m in a period of healing in my life. This. Is. Not. My. Fault. Healing is my obligation.

We blame and assume too much in this society, without remembering that we were all infants at one point. Our life experiences and the way we were raised shape us—they are NOT us. We must recognize this and heal in a gentle manner, just as we should have been given when we were children. Gentle.

I have a lot of integrity. I am very strong, and I care deeply. But I get very vocal about disrespect. Why? Why do I get so stressed over someone else’s hate when I’ve already had to deal with enough of it? Why do I need to explain myself when I know exactly who I am?

Because you can never tell me who I am or how to feel until you’ve felt it. You can’t speak to me with all that negative energy, no matter who you are. I now have boundaries, and no one will ever knock them down. I know you see that in me, which entices you to poke at my boundaries. More than likely, this results in you not understanding or respecting them. Instead of respecting them, you choose to try and break them down. You play the victim because my strength intimidates you. But my strength is so strong because it comes from experiences I should never have had to experience. This is why I take things so personally when I probably shouldn’t.

But is reacting to your lack of perspective and intention healthy? Is that the way to go?

On the other hand, why do I care so much about whether everyone else is okay? Why do I look at people and assume there’s something I can help them with? I think, at one point in my life, I wished someone would have done that for me. It’s not like I was stuck in the trenches, but what I went through has definitely shaped the way I interact, think, speak, my passion, and my decisions. But not everyone has been in a position like mine, and they shouldn’t be! I don’t want you to feel what I experienced. I want you to understand my perspective. I don’t need to fix everyone because everyone has their faults. What I need to focus on are those in the trenches or those who have gone through experiences like mine. Maybe those with very strong personalities and voices who don’t even realize what they’ve been through, because it may have been manipulation...

But once again, is reacting and assuming the way to go?

Being more straightforward. Not beating around the bush. Instead of thinking I need to explain myself. I’ve done that my entire life... No more of that! Yes, you went through something, and no one should judge you for it. We all need to understand that who we are is a product of everything we’ve experienced, been told, or been through. I need to heal my inner child and understand that my perspective is greater than yours. I don’t need to explain why I’m right to you. I just need to tell you that you’re wrong.

This is the affirmation I tell myself:

I do not need to explain myself.

I do not need to change the world.

I do not need to prove to you who I am.

But the reason I am going to be great is that I’m going to do all these things for me and those who need my help—not because of you. Because I can, and I am capable. I don’t need approval for anything. And while I’m at it, I will hope to see you rise up with me. There is no room for ego in my mind. If I do this for me, I choose to inspire you to do it for you as well. By protecting my peace—and the peace of the greater good, the peace of those in tough circumstances/situations—there is no connection to stubbornness, jealousy, or hate. It’s all connected to peace. You not choosing to rise with me, you not choosing to understand my perspective, you not choosing to listen and hear through the beliefs/experiences of others, and you not choosing to respect me is something you need to work on. I will work on not reacting, but instead acting...

The power in reacting? There is none. The power lies in peace.

This whole writing thing I’ve been doing is helping me understand society, but more importantly, myself. This piece itself is different for me. It’s guided more toward growth—a realization I’ve never felt before. This writing is the start.

I get so worked up when I see things online that are disrespectful or hypocritical. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand disrespect. I think I’ll always speak up. But I don’t think reacting is the way to go. I’m learning that if you want to make a difference in anything, at any level, it comes down to this right here...

How can I get through to people?

How will I really make a difference?

And... why is it not happening in our society right now?

It’s because everyone is reacting instead of just acting.

Too many bullshit explanations from too many angles just put us into rabbit holes.

Think about this...

When someone says something you don’t agree with and you just blow up, even though you may be right, will that open space for them to comfortably drop their ego and listen? No. This opens space for debate, for disagreement, and for arguments. There is no peace here. Why do you get angry?

Well, you have every reason to get angry because you were disrespected, or disrespect was present. But you don’t owe an explanation. If they truly care about change, they will go find it. You, in that moment, have every right to tell them they are wrong. You have every right to act. But do not feed the ego by reacting.

Peace…

Peace…

Peace.

Because even with all the explaining and energy you pour into something, they will never understand what you went through. They will never understand how you feel. But with peace—and with knowledge—we will make sure they understand their disrespect. This is how we change the world. Focus on understanding why you react the way you do, think about why they may think the way they do, and this will lead you to seek more knowledge. Maybe more knowledge about your childhood, or maybe more knowledge about what others go through. And always remember, if you are being accused of disrespect, don’t be afraid of change. Starve the ego.

Peace forces knowledge.

Knowledge forces peace.