Understand to Change
As I am on a path of self understanding, I feel like I have learned the difference between chasing change versus chasing understanding.
In the past, when I would try to better myself or fix habits that were bothering me about myself, I would focus on change. And it felt like a fight, change felt like a battle. I knew the bad habits in my life were not healthy for me and I think we should always focus on becoming better versions of ourselves, but should change feel like a battle?
A good example in our modern society could be alcohol, vaping, and substance use in general. You hear so many people who are trying to quit these things, and I am not underestimating the power of addiction. But, for some people, they do not even understand what exactly they are addicted to. Is the alcohol addiction the problem? Or are you addicted to escaping reality and got hooked on alcohol because of it. That is exactly my point, we just do not understand. We focus so much on changing ourselves and getting angry with our bad habits and addictions but never choose to understand why we do these things. We ignore what actually causes them, we ignore what the issue actually is, we ignore the roots of the problem. We should be forgiving our past selves for picking up bad habits we did not understand the power of at the time. Maybe you were just looking for relief, and that is ok, it happens! But instead, we punish our present selves by not understanding the roots of our habits or what we are aiming to change.
I feel like change cannot happen without understanding.
Understanding cannot happen without letting go.
And letting go cannot happen without internal forgiveness.
In my opinion, this concept relates to the full scale of change. From internal change to world/social change. So many people just do not understand, I believe a lot of problems are not solved by starting with change, but yet starting with understanding. We are all misunderstood by one another, simply because we do not live in the minds of each other. The more we choose to understand people or situations the more natural change we see, the more growth together.
I see change as an outcome of understanding, the product. If we are trying to change something internally or externally and it is not working, instead of getting frustrated, why not begin to understand?
When it comes to external changes, those trying to make a difference in their communities or the world, other people’s understanding plays a role too. This seems to be why world peace seems impossible. Because everyone living on this planet would have to take the time to understand everyone’s perspective, everyone’s lives. Maybe world peace should not be the focus when we all have so much understanding to do internally.
There is no law that requires leaders of our society and government to take the time to understand who they are. No, I do not believe that should be a law but I believe we need to spread more awareness to that idea. Leaders should always take the time to understand themselves so they naturally begin to understand the people they speak for. As someone who does this, I see it ignored at higher levels of power.
Seriously, the more you take time to learn who YOU are, the more you realize about those who do not understand themselves. It becomes so naturally clear.
I believe before we even think of world peace we all need to take the time to internally understand ourselves. Learning where our behaviors stem from, examining our childhoods, understanding where our demons come from instead of ignoring them.
I was always told,
“The way you treat yourself is how you treat others.”
So cliche, but so true.
Once I began to understand what makes me… me, I began to focus on what makes other people them. Once I chose to examine my behaviors and my childhood, I became concerned and intrigued in learning about other people’s stories. Once I was not afraid to attack my internal demons I became aware of other people’s.
My space became more safe and more clear, I now have the purest connections with people close to me in my life. Together, we constantly are aware of what makes us who we are. Then, as a whole, we begin to understand other friend groups. We learn more about people in the world or in our own communities who are apart of different cultures and lifestyles than us. Change is demanding but understanding is so peaceful.
Once you choose to understand yourself, you see change within.
Once you choose to understand yourself, you begin to understand those around you.
Once you begin to understand those around you, you gain more peace, love, and power.
Once you gain more peace, love, and power, your energy naturally changes the world… peacefully.
The power of understanding is not fake. It is contagious, it is the cause of change.